Although I have never had an eating disorder, I've struggled at various times with weight and appearance issues, like many women. When I was a young girl, some of my relatives seemed to constantly comment on my weight, and that of my sisters, whenever we saw them. It seemed like that was very important to them. I know that to some extent this is normal, adults do notice the physical changes children go through as they grow up, but as a child this made me acutely aware of my appearance. I was very skinny as a young child, but once I stopped growing in height and started to fill out a bit, these comments would make me feel quite self-conscious. Why did they pinch my cheeks? Was I getting chubby? Like many teenagers, I went on crazy diets with friends from time to time (one of my favorites was the ice cream diet, when we'd only eat Häagen-Dazs ice cream). Somehow, I muddled through those years without developing an eating disorder. Fast forward to my pregnancies. When I was pregnant, it was hard to bear getting on the scale at the doctor's office and hearing the "innocent" remarks, such as, "oh, you must be eating a lot of cookies, eh?", or, "you are getting big, ha, ha", from the staff. Wasn't I
supposed to gain weight at this time, for the baby's sake? These comments would undermine my confidence in my appearance during my pregnancies. (Please ladies, be sensitive to our pregnant sisters. Pregnancy is hard enough.) Today, I rarely weigh myself, and really only strive to fit into my
clothing and to be strong. I'm thin but I have a good relationship with food, I think. I'm health-conscious
and I enjoy food. I try to make healthy choices, most of the time,
and I exercise regularly. I've tried to raise my children, especially my daughters, without making them overly concerned about weight or appearance, but it has been difficult to do this in a culture that places enormous emphasis on physical appearance.
" 'I'm not good enough, I'm not skinny
enough, I'm not pretty enough' was all I would ever hear from the
degrading mouth of Ed, also known as my eating disorder."
~ Mallory Faye,
Be FreED
I
decided to read
Be FreED: Recover from your eating disorder at any age by
writer, speaker, and singer Mallory Faye because I know that eating disorders affect countless millions of people. Published in 2014, this memoir sounded like it would be a positive and hopeful book that would teach me a few things about eating disorders.
Very early in life, when she was a dancer as a little girl, Mallory had thoughts of "needing to be thin and perfect", and her eating disorder began when she was in elementary school. Although Ed (her name for her eating disorder, as mentioned in the quotation above) was still telling her that she wasn't thin enough, she was diagnosed with anorexia and bulimia as a teenager.
"Eating disorders come in all shapes, sizes, and genders. Ed doesn't
discriminate. The woman in front of you checking out at the grocery
store may just be struggling with bulimia. You don't have to be
emaciated to have an eating disorder."
~ Mallory Faye, Be FreED
In this book, Mallory candidly tells her story, and describes how she is able to stop the restricting, bingeing, and purging, and to free herself from Ed. With the help of a treatment team and plenty of support from friends and family, Mallory is able to recover fully from her eating disorder. In
Be FreED, Mallory refers to a traumatic incident in her past that affected her greatly and contributed to her eating disorder. Fortunately, she was able to get the help she needed, and to effectively break free from Ed's strong grip. Referring to her eating disorder as Ed is a clever way to present the eating disorder as a distinct, separate, critical being who must be dealt with and conquered. Although it's a daunting challenge that requires change and committment, Mallory knows that she must "be freED" from Ed. In her book, there's a chapter about the Ed box she creates, and in a later chapter, she "divorces" Ed.
I've heard that it's very difficult to overcome eating disorders, because they tend to be complex, but Mallory is determined to not only help
herself, but others as well.
Be FreED shows her genuine concern for others as she shares her experience, and what has worked for her. Mallory provides a lot of practical ideas and strategies for those who suffer from eating disorders, and her writing is honest, friendly, and encouraging. She is truly a "hope activist", and proves that "recovery and life beyond your eating disorder is possible". She lists valuable resources for those afflicted by eating disorders, including organizations that she's worked for, such as
NEDA (the National Eating Disorders Association), at the end of the book. I recommend
Be FreED to all who struggle with eating disorders.
Thanks to Jocelyn from
Kelley & Hall for sending me a complimentary copy of
Be FreED. Mallory, I wish you much continued success and fulfillment in your careers as a writer, speaker, and singer.
Your comments are welcome.
Please help me to congratulate Mary from Bookfan, the winner of the $25 Amazon gift card. Congratulations, Mary! Mary mentioned that she'd look for some older books still in print by Liza Palmer (an author I'm now interested in) if she won the gift card. $25 is not a great deal of money to spend on books, but you can often find good deals on new and used books on Amazon. 