More Kind Thoughts

While reading Stefan Einhorn's The Art of Being Kind, my thoughts dwell on how kindness benefits both the giver and the receiver, and is part of ethical intelligence. Einhorn says that one form of kindness is generosity with praise and encouragement. There's no reason to withhold praise, which is entirely free and helps to lift up and motivate others, yet it seems many suffer from a lack of encouragement.

"If you ask people whether they think they have been given too much praise and encouragement, hardly anyone would say they have. But there are a lot of people who think they have not received enough encouragement."
~The Art of Being Kind, Stefan Einhorn

Why be stingy with kind words and encouragement? It doesn't diminish the giver in any way. I think we all need to give and receive honest praise and encouragement in large doses. Also important is giving and receiving requested constructive criticism or feedback, in a thoughtful, loving manner. This very attention is part of kindness that stems from caring and love.

Kind Thoughts

In The Art of Being Kind, Stefan Einhorn says that we should try and be kind daily and as we deal with life's ethical dilemmas. As an oncologist, Einhorn practices kindness as he helps his cancer patients. Although there are few people like Mother Teresa, the author assumes that most people want to be good and kind, and presents a view of kindness from many angles. He says that kind people are not spineless but strong, not stupid but intelligent, and deserve honor for the help they freely give to others. Kind people may get "a bad rap" due to instances when kind people are taken advantage of by others--losing their money or other things of value, to the unscrupulous-- but kindness isn't a fault. It's the exact opposite, and it's time to stop thinking of it as the sign of weakness. We gain from being good, and kindness is rewarded for the most part, in various ways. Here are some of the personal benefits Einhorn lists in The Art of Being Kind:

1. Getting appreciation in return
2. Avoiding conflict
3. Feeling that you are a good person
4. Becoming popular
5. Cooperating well with other people
6. Avoiding having a guilty conscience
7. Getting praise
8. Feeling needed
9. Avoiding punishment
10. Gaining friends

Ten good reasons to be kind to others today, and there are countless more!

'Foolish selfish people are always thinking of themselves, and the result is negative. Wise selfish people think of others, help others as much as they can, and the result is that they too receive benefits.'
~The Dalai Lama, quoted in The Art of Being Kind

The Art of Being Kind

I hope everyone had a great Fourth of July weekend! I finished reading my daughter's book, Just as Long as We're Together, by Judy Blume. It's a very good book about friendship and the beginnings of romantic interest, and also deals with the protagonist's feelings about her parents' trial separation. My daughter is still reading Amy Moves In, and I think she's really enjoying it.

"It is one of the beautiful compensations of life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself."
~Ralph Waldo Emerson, quoted in The Art of Being Kind

Next I'll read The Art of Being Kind by Swedish author, professor, and doctor Stefan Einhorn. I started to feel somewhat guilty as it has been in the to-be-read pile of books on my nightstand for a few weeks. I read little bits of it after I got it but will now read it as a whole. Stay tuned for a kinder person!

Random Acts of Kindness

Two books I just heard about today:

The Drunkard's Walk, by Leonard Mlodinow, is an investigation of how randomness affects or even "rules" our lives, and how our successes and failures may be more dependent on chance events than we realize. Sounds fascinating to me! I can no longer accept blame for everything that goes wrong (yay!), nor credit for all that goes right (darn!). This collection of anecdotes is backed up by mathematical formulas and figures by the author, who's also a physicist and professor. (Was it mere randomness that I heard about this new book on the radio today? Or was it meant to be?)

And:

The Art of Being Kind, by Stefan Einhorn.

"Being nice has nothing to do with being spineless. In his best-selling book, Stefan Einhorn shows how kindness is the single most important factor in achieving success and satisfaction in life."
~ Sweden Bookshop

Einhorn apparently makes a compelling case for kindness. Published in 2007, this book is a best-seller, sometimes out of stock (which tells me that readers value kindness).

I want to read these books! Don't they sound intriguing?