Start Where You Are

Published in 2015, Start Where You Are: A Journal for Self-Exploration by Meera Lee Patel, an artist who lives in Brooklyn, is Bohemian in the best sense of the word.  Meera's vibrant, colorful watercolor illustrations and words provide ample inspiration, and present various quotations by authors, including many well-known women writers, such as Anaïs Nin, George Eliot, and Anne Frank (featured below).  This journal pairs quotations with writing and drawing prompts which encourage reflection, exploration, and understanding through informal, expressive writing and drawing.  I believe that there are numerous benefits to journaling (or simply writing) and drawing; this is a great book to get you to think about your own life in a positive and constructive manner, and to perhaps solve a few matters. 

I've taken the liberty to photograph and present a few of the pages to showcase the style and content of this special book. 

What a treat this book is!  Start Where You Are is a beautifully designed journal, and it will be a pleasure for me to do some of the exercises.  I know I'll enjoy writing and drawing in this book (currently I'm considering which writing and drawing instruments to use). The pages on the right of this book are related to the quotations on the left pages, and ask readers to become personally involved, with prompts such as:

• What are three thoughts that made you smile today?
• List four times you continued to try even though the odds were against you.
• List three traits you'd like others to see in you.
• Think of something you recently gave someone.  Draw it here.

We book bloggers are a lucky lot!  I felt very fortunate to be offered this book from Angela from Perigee, an imprint of Penguin Random House.  Thank you very much, Angela!

  

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Have you experienced the benefits of journaling?  Your comments are welcomed, as always. 

My Thinning Years: Review and Giveaway

"The force inside of me, the commander in chief that was in charge of this war I was waging, was not me, but was actually an extension of my father.  From deep within me, as he had since I was a child, he was ordering me to starve the faggot inside.  At my foundation, conscious or unconscious, I knew that my father would rather I be dead than be gay."
~ My Thinning Years, Jon Derek Croteau


In My Thinning Years: Starving the Gay Within, a memoir by Jon Derek Croteau, published in September of 2014, the author talks a lot about his father, a bully who constantly criticized his wife and three children, Jared, Julie, and Jon.  The youngest of three children who grew up in Ohio and then in Massachusetts, Jon was mesmerized by his mother's loveliness, and was very close to her.  In this book, Jon says that his father, a volunteer athletic coach,  "pushed him into the three sports that he considered manliest: basketball, baseball, and, worst of all, football", even though Jon enjoyed participating in musical theater and was an excellent singer.  Jon was belittled, taunted, and abused by his father, emotionally and physically; his father beat Jon and his siblings with his belt, and he punished them by making them skip meals.  His father often warned Jon not to eat "fattening" foods, and made him feel fat and self-conscious about his body.  Not surprisingly, Jon developed eating disorders as an adolescent; he started to count fat grams and to severely restrict his caloric intake; and he started to run, compulsively.

"I kept running and cutting food from my diet.  Oftentimes, when I'd run endlessly, suffering with determination, I would think about my father.  I wondered if he would be sad if I collapsed on the side of the road."
~ My Thinning Years, Jon Derek Croteau

No matter what Jon did, it was not good enough for his father, who called him a "sissy" (and worse names), and made him feel terrible about himself.  Jon struggled intensely as a youth, and became despondent and suicidal, largely because his father refused to accept him the way he was.  Jon's father created (or at least contributed significantly to) the homophobic feelings that Jon adopted, and to his disgust with himself as a young man unsure about and unsettled by the onset of his sexual feelings.  Jon admired girls and women, and had many female friends over the years (such as Katie, in preschool), but he did not feel attracted to them.  As an adolescent, Jon did not want to be gay.  He didn't want to be different from the other boys, who lusted after girls, yet he gradually realized that he was different, as he developed strong feelings for his best friend in high school, "Chad". 

"After everything I've seen, my mission is nothing less than to help others."
~ Preface, My Thinning Years, Jon Derek Croteau

I'm touched and grateful when people who have endured very difficult pasts want to share their stories in order to help others.  The author hopes his candid memoir will help others to stop punishing themselves and to accept who they truly are.  My Thinning Years is a thoroughly engaging, touching, and sometimes funny memoir, which presents a portrait of a sensitive and gifted young man growing up with a quick-tempered, abusive, and homophobic father.  Children are at the mercy of their parents, and they tend to internalize their parents' ideas and values.  It upset me to read about Jon's father's beliefs and behavior, and about their profound effects on Jon; his father really was a tyrant.  However, Jon's story is gripping, honest, and well-written, and it's also a hopeful, inspiring story about success.  With the help of family and caring friends, and through an empowering Outward Bound trip, and counseling, Jon learns to accept himself, and he discovers how to best deal with his father, and how to overcome his eating disorders and psychologically grueling past.

Terrific news!  The publisher, Hazelden, is generously offering a copy of this affecting memoir, My Thinning Years, as a giveaway (U.S./Canada only).

• To enter this giveaway, simply leave a comment.
• For another chance at winning, become a follower of this blog, or let me know that you're already a follower.
• For an additional chance, post about this contest on your blog, Facebook, Pinterest, or Twitter.

Enter by 5 PM PDT on Monday, October 20.  One winner will be selected randomly and announced on Tuesday, October 21.  Good luck! 

Special thanks to Lisa from TLC for sending me an advance copy of this memoir.  For more reviews, giveaways, and other features, please visit the other stops on TLC's book blog tour for My Thinning Years.

Be FreED: Recover from your eating disorder at any age

Although I have never had an eating disorder, I've struggled at various times with weight and appearance issues, like many women.  When I was a young girl, some of my relatives seemed to constantly comment on my weight, and that of my sisters, whenever we saw them.  It seemed like that was very important to them.  I know that to some extent this is normal, adults do notice the physical changes children go through as they grow up, but as a child this made me acutely aware of my appearance.  I was very skinny as a young child, but once I stopped growing in height and started to fill out a bit, these comments would make me feel quite self-conscious. Why did they pinch my cheeks?  Was I getting chubby?  Like many teenagers, I went on crazy diets with friends from time to time (one of my favorites was the ice cream diet, when we'd only eat Häagen-Dazs ice cream). Somehow, I muddled through those years without developing an eating disorder.  Fast forward to my pregnancies.  When I was pregnant, it was hard to bear getting on the scale at the doctor's office and hearing the "innocent" remarks, such as, "oh, you must be eating a lot of cookies, eh?", or,  "you are getting big, ha, ha",  from the staff.  Wasn't I supposed to gain weight at this time, for the baby's sake?  These comments would undermine my confidence in my appearance during my pregnancies.  (Please ladies, be sensitive to our pregnant sisters.  Pregnancy is hard enough.)  Today, I rarely weigh myself, and really only strive to fit into my clothing and to be strong.  I'm thin but I have a good relationship with food, I think.  I'm health-conscious and I enjoy food.  I try to make healthy choices, most of the time, and I exercise regularly.  I've tried to raise my children, especially my daughters, without making them overly concerned about weight or appearance, but it has been difficult to do this in a culture that places enormous emphasis on physical appearance.

" 'I'm not good enough, I'm not skinny enough, I'm not pretty enough' was all I would ever hear from the degrading mouth of Ed, also known as my eating disorder."
~ Mallory Faye, Be FreED


I decided to read Be FreED: Recover from your eating disorder at any age by writer, speaker, and singer Mallory Faye because I know that eating disorders affect countless millions of people.  Published in 2014, this memoir sounded like it would be a positive and hopeful book that would teach me a few things about eating disorders.


Very early in life, when she was a dancer as a little girl, Mallory had thoughts of "needing to be thin and perfect", and her eating disorder began when she was in elementary school.  Although Ed (her name for her eating disorder, as mentioned in the quotation above) was still telling her that she wasn't thin enough, she was diagnosed with anorexia and bulimia as a teenager.

"Eating disorders come in all shapes, sizes, and genders.  Ed doesn't discriminate.  The woman in front of you checking out at the grocery store may just be struggling with bulimia.  You don't have to be emaciated to have an eating disorder."
~ Mallory Faye, Be FreED

In this book, Mallory candidly tells her story, and describes how she is able to stop the restricting, bingeing, and purging, and to free herself from Ed.  With the help of a treatment team and plenty of support from friends and family, Mallory is able to recover fully from her eating disorder. In Be FreED, Mallory refers to a traumatic incident in her past that affected her greatly and contributed to her eating disorder.  Fortunately, she was able to get the help she needed, and to effectively break free from Ed's strong grip.  Referring to her eating disorder as Ed is a clever way to present the eating disorder as a distinct, separate, critical being who must be dealt with and conquered.  Although it's a daunting challenge that requires change and committment, Mallory knows that she must "be freED" from Ed.  In her  book, there's a chapter about the Ed box she creates, and in a later chapter, she "divorces" Ed.

I've heard that it's very difficult to overcome eating disorders, because they tend to be complex, but Mallory is determined to not only help herself, but others as well.  Be FreED shows her genuine concern for others as she shares her experience, and what has worked for her.  Mallory provides a lot of practical ideas and strategies for those who suffer from eating disorders, and her writing is honest, friendly, and encouraging.  She is truly a "hope activist", and proves that "recovery and life beyond your eating disorder is possible".  She lists valuable resources for those afflicted by eating disorders, including organizations that she's worked for, such as NEDA (the National Eating Disorders Association), at the end of the book.  I recommend Be FreED to all who struggle with eating disorders. 

Thanks to Jocelyn from Kelley & Hall for sending me a complimentary copy of Be FreED. Mallory, I wish you much continued success and fulfillment in your careers as a writer, speaker, and singer.

Your comments are welcome.