Tuesday, April 2, 2024

The Loss That Binds Us


"I wrote this book because grief, though an individual journey, is a universal experience we all endure."  ~The Loss That Binds Us, Sweta Vikram

The loss of a loved one is often a very difficult and painful emotional experience.   Grief may feel all-encompassing and crushing at times, especially at the beginning.  Grief may make us feel as if we are all tied up, bound by ropes that refuse to loosen up.

In The Loss That Binds Us: 108 Tips on Coping with Grief and Loss by best-selling author Sweta Vikram, published in April 2024 by Loving Healing Press, the author talks primarily about the most recent losses in her own life, which were devastating for several reasons.  In May of 2023, she lost her father, with whom she had a very close and loving relationship, and then her dear father-in-law, a mere two days later.  Her mother had died a few years earlier. It was a lot to bear--perhaps too much to bear.  A true writer, Vikram turned to writing to help her process these enormous, intense losses in her life.  She took her great emotional pain and turned it into a book to help herself, as well as others.

The Loss That Binds Us is well-written and thorough. Vikram provides an in-depth look at grief that includes the five stages of grief (DABDA) outlined by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, with a sixth stage later proposed by David Kessler (finding meaning), in the book On Death and Dying (1969).  However, Vikram knows that grieving is not a one-size-fits-all process, but a unique process, different for each person. This thoughtful, touching, personal account is full of ideas and suggestions to help individuals dealing with grief. The Loss That Binds Us presents 108 ideas to help guide people during the grieving process, designed to assist all with their own personal grief. (Why 108? The significance of this number is discussed in detail in this special manual.) 

I lost both of my parents just short of a dozen years ago. They died about one year apart (a charming friend of mine said that was because they wanted to be together again).  It was a very sad time in my life. When I read this book, I realized that many of the tips in this book rang true to me.  Since my parents died, I've done several of the things mentioned in the book, including reaching out to family members, sharing stories about the person who died, and remembering their birthdays (and celebrating them in some way). Quite recently, one of my sisters texted that she'd just added some trimming from my mother's sewing basket to adorn her jeans; I'd added some to the hem of my own jeans and capris a few years ago, a decorative touch in remembrance of our wonderful mother. Particularly after my mother died, it helped me a great deal to see and to talk to family members, especially my three sisters, and my mother's sister and her son. Together, we navigated our grief, and were able to get through emotionally difficult times. Grieving together brought us closer together, which is an integral part of what the author presents in her book.

The Loss That Binds Us is a profound book, a valuable manual for people who are dealing with grief after the loss of a loved one. It is worth reading, and rereading.  It provides understanding, ideas, insights--and hope!

Special thanks to Sweta Vikram for providing me with an advance reading copy of The Loss That Binds Us.


Thank you for reading! Your comments are welcomed, as always.

2 comments:

  1. Suko, thanks for this post, two years ago at age of 56 my wife of 20 years passed away. My entire world was built on our relationship. Our three young adult daughters were robbed of decades of guidance. Well meaning people began to tell me I must move on, get over it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi, Mel. I am very sorry about the loss of your wife.
    Thank you for stopping by. I haven't posted in a long time.

    ReplyDelete

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