Kindness

Does reading make us kinder, more sensitive people? I think it does, and John Connolly, author of several books including The Book of Lost Things, sums this up well:

"I think the act of reading imbues the reader with a sensitivity towards the outside world that people who don’t read can sometimes lack. I know it seems like a contradiction in terms; after all, reading is such a solitary act that it appears to represent a disengagement from day-to-day life. But reading, and in particular the reading of fiction, encourages us to view the world in new and challenging ways (…) It allows us to inhabit the consciousness of another, which is a precursor of empathy, and empathy is, for me, one of the marks of a decent human being."
~John Connolly

In keeping with this theme of kindness, I'd like to award my friend, Kim, of Writing Space with the Your Blog is Fabulous Award pictured below. On Tuesdays, she posts about kindness and I especially look forward to reading these posts. I wish I had thought of such a wonderful concept! Kim has given me not one but two blogging awards and also an Amazon gift card (what better gift for me?); I appreciate these kind deeds as well.



Thoughts on Kindness:

"Kindness gives birth to kindness."
~Sophocles

"Love and kindness are never wasted. They always make a difference. They bless the one who receives them, and they bless you, the giver."
~Barbara De Angelis

"Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. The third is to be kind."
~Henry James

"Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see."
~Mark Twain

"Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love."
~Lao-Tzu

“You cannot do a kindness too soon because you never know how soon it will be too late.”
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Today I bent the truth to be kind, and I have no regret, for I am far surer of what is kind than I am of what is true."
~Robert Brault

"If you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble."
~Bob Hope

Have you had a kindness shown?
Pass it on;
'Twas not given for thee alone,
Pass it on;
Let it travel down the years,
Let it wipe another's tears,
'Til in Heaven the deed appears -
Pass it on.
~Henry Burton, Pass It On

More Kind Thoughts

While reading Stefan Einhorn's The Art of Being Kind, my thoughts dwell on how kindness benefits both the giver and the receiver, and is part of ethical intelligence. Einhorn says that one form of kindness is generosity with praise and encouragement. There's no reason to withhold praise, which is entirely free and helps to lift up and motivate others, yet it seems many suffer from a lack of encouragement.

"If you ask people whether they think they have been given too much praise and encouragement, hardly anyone would say they have. But there are a lot of people who think they have not received enough encouragement."
~The Art of Being Kind, Stefan Einhorn

Why be stingy with kind words and encouragement? It doesn't diminish the giver in any way. I think we all need to give and receive honest praise and encouragement in large doses. Also important is giving and receiving requested constructive criticism or feedback, in a thoughtful, loving manner. This very attention is part of kindness that stems from caring and love.

Kind Thoughts

In The Art of Being Kind, Stefan Einhorn says that we should try and be kind daily and as we deal with life's ethical dilemmas. As an oncologist, Einhorn practices kindness as he helps his cancer patients. Although there are few people like Mother Teresa, the author assumes that most people want to be good and kind, and presents a view of kindness from many angles. He says that kind people are not spineless but strong, not stupid but intelligent, and deserve honor for the help they freely give to others. Kind people may get "a bad rap" due to instances when kind people are taken advantage of by others--losing their money or other things of value, to the unscrupulous-- but kindness isn't a fault. It's the exact opposite, and it's time to stop thinking of it as the sign of weakness. We gain from being good, and kindness is rewarded for the most part, in various ways. Here are some of the personal benefits Einhorn lists in The Art of Being Kind:

1. Getting appreciation in return
2. Avoiding conflict
3. Feeling that you are a good person
4. Becoming popular
5. Cooperating well with other people
6. Avoiding having a guilty conscience
7. Getting praise
8. Feeling needed
9. Avoiding punishment
10. Gaining friends

Ten good reasons to be kind to others today, and there are countless more!

'Foolish selfish people are always thinking of themselves, and the result is negative. Wise selfish people think of others, help others as much as they can, and the result is that they too receive benefits.'
~The Dalai Lama, quoted in The Art of Being Kind